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Did anyone hear that most wonderful of quotes on Radio 4 this week ? When a Government Minister was hear to say .. ..
SHOCK - HORROR ! ! !
Articles collected from British Newspapers Commenting on a complaint from a Mr.
Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We
agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been
charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.' Irish police are being handicapped in a
search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special
Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. A young girl who was blown out to sea on
a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast
guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'. At the height of the gale, the
harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He
replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help,
the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue,
Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of
war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of
1945, she recalled - 'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the
crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil
Hitler.''
Rather than ask you to plough (and it's
almost back to ploughing-season - having skipped 'harvest' altogether this year)
through the excitingly titled "Rural Economic Strategy - a Working
Draft" .. which all your Councillors are no doubt busy doing .. Weaknesses
Opportunities
Threats
And all this at a time when the Parish
Council, having received a report from their own (their very own)
'Working Group' _ based on the Revised report from the District Enabler _ have
referred it back to the Working Group .. for
"reconsideration".
And I'm sure that the Parish Council's Working Group on Environmental and Ecological issues will be gratified to learn that they have (yet) another supporter .. and a famous one, too. None other than multi-millionaire property and hotel heiress, and porn-film-starlette, Paris Hilton .. who was heard, recently, propounding her views on a cogent energy policy as it relates to 'climate change' .. .. "Yeah, 'the earth' .. .. isn't it, like, .. totally "hot" .. !"
Spell Chequers Eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea
sea, Eye strike a quay and type a word and weight four
it two say As soon as a mist ache is maid it nose bee fore
two long, Eye have run this poem threw it, I am shore your
pleased two no;
Isn't it so much better for Chaddesley now the High Street has been re-surfaced ? Those nice, colourful Traffic Lights made such a pretty display and people came from miles around to watch them change .. slowly .. from red to green .. and back again to red. And those people held-up on the A448 while cars
were waiting to turn into the village thought to themselves .. And it's going to be so much easier for us to park our 4x4's on a flat, smooth surface .. rather than on that nasty, rough and un-even one. And then again, when 'they' come to paint the jolly yellow lines in front of everybody's houses, they'll show-up all the clearer against a nice black background .. provided, of course, that it's the 'right' shade of yellow .. you know, the one we've chosen .. .. So much better .. ..
Please remember ...
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